Fix it! Don't throw it away!

Anyone that knows me knows that I can get along with elderly people better than those my own age most of the time. I can't explain why that is the case, but I do know that there's a lot to learn from the older generation, especially when it comes to love. You know, I find great joy in observing elderly couples together. Whether it's the elderly couple that I sat on the front porch with in Kittanning, Pennsylvania on a mission trip talking about how their town had changed or the elderly couple I attend church with who never seem to be seen separately (even during a 2 month stay in the hospital.) These couples just seem to be so in love. I guess love only grows with age. I'd really like to know their answer to the secret of long-lasting love. Well, I think I might have found it today in just a short piece that I found on the internet. It read:

A reporter asked an old couple, "How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?" The woman replied, "We were born in a time when, if something was broken, we would fix it, not throw it away..."

It sounds quite simple to me, but why do so many relationships in today's society end in shambles. Well, just like the elderly lady said, people just "throw it away." They throw away years of memories and happiness. They throw away years of connections. They throw away years of feelings. Yet, the question still remains why do they "throw it away?"

 I think the number one reason people throw relationships away is lack of effort. They don't do the small things that make relationships work- doing chores, writing notes,or saying "I love you." It's not hard! Do things that make the other person feel appreciated and let them know you care.

Another reason I believe couples throw relationships away is because they married for appearance of the outside rather than appearance of the inside. Physical beauty fades with time, but inward beauty never changes. There's a Randy Travis song called "Forever and Ever, Amen" and a verse in the song says:

"They say that time takes it's toll on a body
Makes the young girl's brown hair turn greyBut honey, I don't care, I ain't in love with your hairAnd if it all fell out, well, I'd love you anyway"

The man described in the song didn't marry for outward beauty, although he probably still finds his wife attractive even in old age. Yet, the most attractive quality to him is most  likely her heart.


Yet another reason for broken relationships, and one I've seen very recently in some folks that I know, is a constant race to have the best of all material things. There's a song that I love a lot. It's an Alan Jackson song called "Livin' on Love." One of the main premises of the song, in my opinion, is to demonstrate that things don't make a relationship. Take a look at the lyrics:

"Livin On Love"

Two young people without a thing
Say some vows and spread their wings
Settle down with just what they need
Livin' on love

She don't care 'bout what's in style
She just likes the way he smiles
It takes more than marble and tile
Livin' on love

Livin' on love, buyin' on time
Without somebody nothing ain't worth a dime
Just like an old fashion story book rhyme
Livin' on love
It sounds simple, that's what you're thinkin'
But love can walk through fire without blinkin'
It doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

Two old people without a thing
Children gone but still they sing
Side by side in that front porch swing
Livin' on love

He can't see anymore
She can barely sweep the floor
Hand in hand they'll walk through that door
Just livin' on love

Livin' on love, buyin' on time
Without somebody nothing ain't worth a dime
Just like an old fashion story book rhyme
Livin' on love
It sounds simple that's what you're thinkin'
But love can walk through fire without blinkin'
It doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

No it doesn't take much when you get enough
Livin' on love

Without a thing-look closely at those words. Things don't make a relationship. It's that love that can "walk through fire without blinkin'!" Some of the most successful relationships I have seen, have not come from the rich and famous, but the poor and not so famous. They've had to work through struggles-struggles just like the lady in the story is talking about. People who have worked through struggles and fixed their relationships instead of throwing them away are the ones who realize the meaning behind the words "Love can walk through fire without blinkin'!" It really can! A love that is strong is one that has worked hardest in the hard times and cherished the good times. It's a love that lasted through better or worse and in sickness and health. I'm so thankful to know people who fit this description, especially those who have held on to love for so many years. So, tonight, I say that sometimes the true measure of a man is found in his ability to fix a relationship instead of throwing it away. That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man.!