“Dear Soldier — my dad was a soldier. He’s in heaven now. I found this 20 dollars in the parking lot when we got here. We like to pay it forward in my family. It’s your lucky day! Thank you for your service. Myles Eckert, a gold star kid.”
Here is a young man who could have easily spent that money on something else, but he decided to do something bigger and better. No doubt, this is a very good kid with a very good heart. He is certainly being raised well in my opinion. Yet, the detail in the story that stood out the most to me is that little Myles Eckert doesn't have his father here on earth. So many children do have their father here on earth, but the father hasn't taken the time to be involved in their lives. This really irritates me. For a little boy, it is so crucial to have a dad who they can throw the football around with, teach them how to ride a bike, take them fishing, tell them stories, teach them to work on things, lovingly correct them and dry their tears when they get those bumps and bruises that every little boy gets. Further, as little boys transform into teenagers, it's so important to have a dad who can help them fix their cars, give them advice and guidance about girls, and attend their games and graduations. Still further, it's important for a grown man to continue to have a dad in his life that can help him with advice on raising his own kids, give him secrets to a successful marriage, and be an outstanding grandfather. Sadly, there are all different kinds of fathers in this world. There's three songs that I'm going to use to illustrate different types of fathers in the world.
First, there's the failing father as illustrated in the following song by Billy Currington:
"Walk A Little Straighter"
I remember looking up
To look up to him
And I remember most the time
He wasn't there
I'd be waiting at the door
When he got home at night
He'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair
And I'd say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
He stumbled in the gym
On graduation day
And I couldn't help but feel
So ashamed
And I wasn't surprised a bit
When he didn't stay
He stumbled out before they called my name
And I thought
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
It's not just me who's watching
you've caught everybody's eye
And you're tripping and stumbling
and even though I've turned 18
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're still leading me
The old mans still like he always was
But I love him anyway
If I've learned one thing from him
Its my kids will never have to say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
if you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
Yeah walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
To look up to him
And I remember most the time
He wasn't there
I'd be waiting at the door
When he got home at night
He'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair
And I'd say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
He stumbled in the gym
On graduation day
And I couldn't help but feel
So ashamed
And I wasn't surprised a bit
When he didn't stay
He stumbled out before they called my name
And I thought
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
It's not just me who's watching
you've caught everybody's eye
And you're tripping and stumbling
and even though I've turned 18
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're still leading me
The old mans still like he always was
But I love him anyway
If I've learned one thing from him
Its my kids will never have to say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
if you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
Yeah walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me
In "Walk a Little Straighter" we see a father who has always been a failing father. Unfortunately, there are many men in the world like this. However, there is a significant lesson to learn here. As the song points out, lessons can be learned from the failing father too. Those with failing fathers should learn that just because they had a failing father, doesn't mean they have to be one. Also, it's important to be the bigger man and love your father no matter what kind of man he chooses to be. People can and do change.
Next, we have what I will call the "didn't-have-to-be" fathers. I'll use Brad Paisley's song "He Didn't Have to Be" to illustrate this type father. Here's the song lyrics:
"He Didn't Have To Be"
When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be
Some men become fathers because someone else wouldn't. How many kids do you know who have step-fathers? There's a lot of them. The thing that makes a lot of step-fathers great, the good ones at least, is that they did not have to be a father to a child. Rather, they chose to be. People like to be chosen. I, myself was, chosen by a "didn't-have-to-be" dad and am certainly thankful for him.
Finally, there's the involved father. I am happy to say that I am lucky to have two of them. Two of them? Yes, two of them. Both my step-father and father have always been involved with my life. It's absolutely wonderful having two involved fathers in my life! So what does an involved father look like? I'll use Chris Young's "Flashlight" to illustrate what an involved father looks like. Here it is:
"Flashlight"
He said: Son hold it still
Keep that beam shining straight
He has 9/16 in one hand, working on that Chevrolet
It seemed like every Saturday
Soon as the sun went down
We'd be huddled underneath that hood
Tinkerin' around
And of all the great memories I had
The best ones are those nights
Just me and my dad
He'll never know how much he taught me
Out in that garage
And I guess the stuff that stuck
More about life than fixing cars
Cause till this day
I still can't make them run right
But I sure did learn a lot
Just Holding the flashlight
He told me a lot of stories
About grandpa and the war
While he was trying to show me
What a carburetor is for
I've learned a couple of curse words
When he skinned his knuckles up
And I found out mama was the only girl
He ever really loved
But when I've asked him about women
He just laughed
If we stayed out here all year
We wouldn't have time enough for that
He'll never know how much he taught me
Out in that garage
And I guess the stuff that stuck
More about life than fixing cars
Cause till this day
I still can't make them run right
But I sure did learn a lot
Just Holding the flashlight
Now till this day
I still can't make them run right
But deep inside I know that's all right
Cause sure did learn a lot
Holding the flashlight
Keep that beam shining straight
He has 9/16 in one hand, working on that Chevrolet
It seemed like every Saturday
Soon as the sun went down
We'd be huddled underneath that hood
Tinkerin' around
And of all the great memories I had
The best ones are those nights
Just me and my dad
He'll never know how much he taught me
Out in that garage
And I guess the stuff that stuck
More about life than fixing cars
Cause till this day
I still can't make them run right
But I sure did learn a lot
Just Holding the flashlight
He told me a lot of stories
About grandpa and the war
While he was trying to show me
What a carburetor is for
I've learned a couple of curse words
When he skinned his knuckles up
And I found out mama was the only girl
He ever really loved
But when I've asked him about women
He just laughed
If we stayed out here all year
We wouldn't have time enough for that
He'll never know how much he taught me
Out in that garage
And I guess the stuff that stuck
More about life than fixing cars
Cause till this day
I still can't make them run right
But I sure did learn a lot
Just Holding the flashlight
Now till this day
I still can't make them run right
But deep inside I know that's all right
Cause sure did learn a lot
Holding the flashlight
I, too, have held the flashlight many times for my fathers. I've heard the curse words when they skinned their knuckles, I've been shown how things work, I've heard the laughs about women and how complicated they can be and I've heard a lot of stories too. I also can say that the things that stuck with me is also more about life. Great life lessons can be learned from a father who is truly involved in his children's lives, a father who knows how to love. That's the key-love. So, I believe that the true measure of a man can often be found in how he loves his children. I'm happy to say that I've got two men in my life who "measure up!" I just hope I can "walk straight," "be half the dad he didn't have to be" and teach my children a lot while they hold the "flashlight" when I become a father. That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!
Here is the links to the story about Myles Eckert:
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/03/02/the-incredible-thing-an-8-year-old-boy-did-for-a-soldier-will-be-remembered-for-a-lifetime/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=story&utm_campaign=ShareButtons
Here are the links to all the songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1no7Or9BeI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjO1F6oCab8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h_7xLYS9Fc
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