What do you think about in the morning?

Have you made the day count? Lately, I've been thinking of how I can make the most impact on lives each day. It really is a goal of mine to leave a positive impact on the people I encounter every day, especially my loved ones. Garth Brooks' song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" demonstrates how important it is to make each day count because tomorrow may not come for you or me. Here's the lyrics:

"If Tomorrow Never Comes"


Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

If we want to live with no regrets, if we want to let people know how we feel, then we must set out to do that everyday. Making an impact on lives does not come without effort. Making an impact begins by deciding to make an impact when you wake up in the morning. So, let me ask you: What do you think about each morning? Do you awaken each day in a hurried and agitated rush? Do you wake up each day miserable about the day ahead of you? or...Do you wake up each day ready to conquer the day? Do you wake up each morning thinking of how you can do good for others? Do you wake up each day thinking of how you can make an impact? What if we all woke up each morning ready to impact our world for good? Wouldn't the world be a better place? If you answered "yes" to the last two questions, then realize this: it all starts with you. You see, a person who makes an impact on the lives of others often influences others to do the same.

We are not promised tomorrow. So, will people know how we feel? Did we try in every way to show them every day how much they mean to us? Is our love really going to be enough to last if tomorrow never comes?

That's just something to think about!

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in his ability to make his "todays" count because we aren't guaranteed our "tomorrows."

That, my friends is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!

One more day...and it keeps on growin'...

"If I had one more day..." Have you ever said that to yourself? I have many times. Usually I was just simply referring to needing one more day to get some work finished or one more day of vacation. Now though, these words mean so much more.

Patience has never been a virtue that I showcase well. In fact, my patience is really, really thin. My patience is like the "thin mint" version of patience. I don't have patience on the road. I don't have patience at the doctor's office. I don't have patience when I wait for my wifi to come back on. Folks, patience just isn't my forte. I want everything now and I want it in the same day. That requires patience.

All of my life, the people I care most about have always been easily accessible to me. They lived down the road or the next county over, or a day's road trip away-until now.

You see, I value quality time with the people I care about. It's hard to spend quality time with people who are far away. When I do spend that quality time with those who are far away, I find myself wishing for just one more day. The group Diamond Rio has a song called "One More Day" and here's the lyrics:



"One More Day"


Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day

We all want one more sunset. We all want one more "I love you." Those are things that are hard when you're far away. This is where love finds it's hardest test-the test of distance. We wish for one more day and it often seems like that day will never come. 

Kyle Park has a song called "Long Distance Relationship." It describes my feelings on wanting one more day with those who are far away. Here it is:

A long distance phone call
At 2 in the mornin', but I don't mind at all
'cause I stay up most nights, just thinkin' of you
And how when I get home, I'm gonna love you

I know it's hard when I'm away,
But trust me when I say
That we'll be okay,
But we've got to stay strong

It's gonna be a long distance relationship
As long as I keep livin' like this
You're gonna be alone
More than I get to be home

But somehow this makes the heart grow fonder
Our love just keeps getting stronger
With every kiss of this long distance relationship
That we've started
So wild and reckless-hearted

We both agree that it's worth tryin'
And nothin' is worse than hearin' you cryin'
Everything I wanna say, can't always be face to face
But know I love you just as much on the telephone
And oh...
It's gonna be a long distance relationship
As long as I keep livin' like this
You're gonna be alone
More than I get to be home

But somehow this makes the heart grow fonder
Our love just keeps getting stronger
With every kiss of this long distance relationship
That we've got goin'
The only thing worth knowin'
Is that our love is gonna keep growin' on an on

It's gonna be a long distance relationship
As long as I keep livin' like this
You're gonna be alone
More than I get to be home

But somehow this makes the heart grow fonder
Our love just keeps getting stronger
With every kiss of this long distance relationship

Love isn't always easy. It takes work. I do agree though that absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder. And love is worth a try. I'm trying really hard! What about you? Is your love growing with the love you have going?

Tonight the measure of a man or woman can sometimes be found in his or her ability to try, have patience, and work for one more day all the while building a love that "just keeps getting stronger."

That, my friends is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man.

Now looking back I understand...

We have a saying in the south. When times are good in people's lives, when fortunes are great, and blessings are abundant we often say, "We're walking in high cotton." or "He's walking in high cotton." or "She's walking in high cotton." We notice our cotton height in the south. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my grandfather remark, "Look how high the cotton is!" He should know; he's picked his fair share.

Well why do we say that, "We're walking in high cotton?" Well, let's think about it in agricultural terms for a minute. Cotton, though it only requires moderate rainfall to yield a decent crop, can only be helped by an adequate amount of rainfall. I've seen many summers in my short life span where cotton struggled to survive in times of drought. I've also seen times when cotton has thrived with adequate rainfall. I've seen the rain produce high cotton and there is no greater feeling I would imagine than a farmer to have a field full of high, ever-abundant cotton. 

Well, this is much like life too. We have times in our lives when things don't go so great. We have times in our lives when there are periods of drought. The "cotton" isn't so high then. Yet, through prayerful persistence and hard work, I've seen many a physical cotton crop and the metaphorical "cotton crops" of life grow into times of "high cotton." Many times though, we really don't understand, we don't even notice the "cotton" growing. We only notice the struggles and hard work we endure. We only notice the "rain." 

Well the rain does bring high cotton doesn't it? 

The group Alabama has a song called "High Cotton." It's one of my favorites. Here's the lyrics:


"High Cotton"


We didn't know that times were lean
Round our house the grass was green
It didn't seem like things were all that bad
I bet we walked a thousand miles
Chopin' cotton and pushin' plows
And learnin' how to give it all we had.

As life went on and years went by
I saw the light in daddy's eyes
And felt - the love in mama's hands
They kept us warm and kept us fed
Taught us how to look ahead
Now lookin' back, I understand.

[Chorus:]
We Were Walkin' in High Cotton
Old times there are not forgotten
Those fertile fields are never far away
We Were Walkin' in High Cotton
Old times there are not forgotten
Leavin' home was the hardest thing we ever faced.

When Sunday mornings rolled around
We dressed up in hand-me downs
Just in time, to gather with the church
Sometimes I think how long it's been
And how it impressed me then
It was the only day my daddy wouldn't work.

[Chorus 2x]

We were walkin' in high cotton.

I love how this song starts off with reflecting on our mindsets as children. When we're a child, we don't notice some of the struggles our parents faced physically and financially. Sometimes, as children, we don't even notice our own struggles. Yet also as children, we notice, as we grow that work is required. We learn to "give it all we have." As we grow older, we sometimes wonder why we give it all we've got when things never seem to change. However, as the song so clearly demonstrates, when we look back we understand. We were and are walking in "high cotton!" No, we may not have a mansion. No we may not have an abundance of friends. We may have to work hard every day. We may have to "chop cotton" and "push plows." BUT I will guarantee you that if you look back on your life and look at where it has led you, chances are you've walked in "high cotton" most of the way. We go through the hard work, the droughts, and the rains of life for a reason-they all help us see how high the cotton really is.

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in his ability to look back and understand how long he has walked in "high cotton." How high is your "cotton field?"

That, my friends is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!

Daddy never was...

Daddy never was...

Today, as I checked Facebook I saw all of the posts for Father's Day. I'll have to say that it was great to see fathers get some recognition. Then, as the day progressed, I thought more and more about what it means to be a father. I haven't really considered fatherhood much until this point in my life. I was reminded today, through a phone call, that fatherhood is quite possible for me one day. Well, as that reminder sank in, I decided to truly begin my quest to prepare for the job.

I believe that a person's preparation for fatherhood is best begun by looking at the men in our own lives-men that are example fathers. You can look at any man you look up to and learn a lesson. Many men are different. Some are not worthy of emulating. Yet some are very worthy of emulating. The best way to prepare for fatherhood, in my opinion, is to examine the characteristics of men who are good fathers and emulate those characteristics.

One characteristic that I truly admire about my father is his love of simplicity and his appreciation for the things that matter most. You see, my dad has discovered through his own experiences, that money, fame and fortune isn't everything. Everyday I see fathers push their kids toward financial success at the cost of family relationships. I see fathers push their kids to athletic fame at the cost of family relationships. In the end none of that matters and the one true thing that really matters most is love and no amount of money can buy that.

I found a song recently that is fast becoming one of my favorite. The song is "Daddy Never Was the Cadillac Kind by Confederate Railroad. Here's the lyrics:

Daddy Never Was the Cadillac Kind

We were poor when I was a youngun
I don't remember ever going hungry
Daddy made sure we didn't do without
I went to school with some of these fellas
They had money and I was jealous
I didn't know then what I know now
Daddy'd say you can't judge a book by looking at its cover
It's what's inside that really matters

CHORUS
Daddy never was the Cadillac kind
He said some things just glitter and shine
He taught us that love was the one thing money couldn't buy
Daddy never was the Cadillac kind

I left home right out of high school
Bought me a big car thought I was real cool
Cruisin' around the old neighborhood
I'd see Dad after church on Sunday
I'd say you'll have to go riding with me someday
He just said no, I never understood
He asked me how I bought it, I told him on credit
Daddy just smiled, I'll never forget it

REPEAT CHORUS

It took a while but now I'm grown
I've settled down with kids of my own
The more I give them
The more they want

Daddy left us last November
I don't remember him ever looking better
All laid out in his Sunday best
I'm sure instead of all the attention
All he'd of wanted was a few words mentioned
A simple man simply laid to rest
As they drove him away in that big Cadillac
With a tear in my eye I had to laugh

REPEAT CHORUS

It's what's inside that really matters- isn't that true? It isn't fame, or fortune, cars, or houses, Cadillacs, or Fords. No, it's things that really matter-respect, honor, humility, compassion, and love. One thing about my dad is he has never been concerned with material things. As a young person, sometimes I put more weight in the materialistic world- but my dad has never been the Cadillac kind. I want to be like that. He often stresses to me that it doesn't matter what the world thinks about your possessions. It matters what the world thinks of your reputation. When I'm through with this life I want to leave behind a reputation of someone who never really was the Cadillac kind.

Another characteristic I love about my own dad is the fact that he stresses actions rather than words. My dad has never been one to show emotion or share his feelings in words with me. He doesn't have to. He shows how he feels and how he thinks through his actions. Bucky Covington has a song called "A Father's Love." It reminds me of my own father. Here's the lyrics:

"A Father's Love (The Only Way He Knew How)"


For the longest time, I guess I thought
He didn't give a damn
Hard to read, hard to please
Yeah, that was my old man
On the day I left for college
It was nothing new
We never had that heart-to-heart
He had too much to do

[Chorus:]
He checked the air in my tires
The belts and all the spark plug wires
Said "When the hell's the last time
"You had this oil changed"
And as I pulled out the drive
He said "Be sure and call your mom sometime"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
(He was saying "I love you")
The only way he knew how

120,000 miles
Six years down the road
A brand new life and a brand new wife
We'd just bought our first home
When he finally came to visit
I thought he'd be so proud
He never said he liked the place
He just got his tool belt out

And put new locks on the doors
Went back and forth to the hardware store
Said "Come and hold this flashlight"
As he crawled beneath the sink
And "These old wires ain't up to code"
And "That circuit box is gonna overload"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how

Last Sunday, we all gathered
For his 65th birthday
And I knew he'd stiffen up
But I hugged him anyway
When it was finally time to say goodbye
I knew what was next
Just like he always does
Right before we left

[Repeat Chorus]

He knew how

When I use the three letter word "dad" usually I'm speaking of my step-father. He and I have this kind of relationship. Of course he says he loves me sometimes, but he shows it all the time through his actions. You see, I've always been a firm believer in the old saying "Actions speak louder than words." My dad's actions certainly have. He's checked the air in my tires. He's moved furniture off to college. He's helped me swap seats out in my truck so I'd be more comfortable driving it. He's fixed the lawnmower after I carelessly broke it and never said anything. And he has always stressed that I should respect my mother and always see that she is taken care of. All of that, to me, is his way of showing love through action. When we say the words "I love you," in that sentence the word "love" is an action verb. It requires action. Too many times, people treat love as a noun-just a thing that requires no thought, attention, or action. My dad doesn't. He shows what love is meant to look like. He takes action. Too many times, men say "I love you." to their children but never actually show love. I'm firm believer that love must be shown in order to be appreciated. I appreciate my dad's love because he shows it!

Tonight, the measure of man, the measure of a father can sometimes be found in one's ability to be a father who never judges a book by its cover, to be father who treats love as an action verb. and to be a father who values what's inside rather than things that glitter and shine because a real father doesn't want to be 

...the Cadillac kind. 

That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!

 

Hey aren't we all?

It's amazing to me how things happen sometimes. Today I had the privilege of meeting a young man who is mentally challenged. He is a very special guy with a very special new family. This young man has been without parents for a while until now. I'm happy to say that he now has what everyone needs most in their lives: love, respect, admiration and care from his family. Really, you could just sum it all up and say that he's being treated the way everyone wants to be treated.

People with disabilities hold a very special place in my heart and I consider it a privilege to be around them. You see, I have never found greater determination and drive than that which is possessed by most disabled people. It's a determination and drive that many people who are not disabled will never have. Further than that though, people with disabilities, more often than not, treat others with respect.

Unfortunately, I've been around people who don't value disabled people like I do. They call them names and treat them as second class citizens. When I see this happen, usually I become a little defensive and ready to stand up for the disabled person. I've realized now though, that pointing out the fact that everyone wants to be treated with respect, even the person doing the name calling, is usually the best way to foster an appreciation and admiration for the disabled.

Today, I was reminded of a song. Mark Willis' "Don't Laugh at Me" is a song that really related to what I'm talking about. Here's the lyrics:





"Don't Laugh At Me"


I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep.

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
Is it too much to ask?

[Chorus:]
Don't laugh at me, don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me.

I'm the cripple on the corner
You pass me on the street
I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think that I don't notice
That our eyes never meet.

I lost my wife and little boy
Someone crossed that yellow line
The day we laid 'em in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
Right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign.

[Chorus:]
Don't laugh at me, don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me.

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey aren't we all?

[Chorus:]
Don't laugh at me, don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me.

I think when people listen to this song they don't really realize what it's meant to be. I think people listen to this and feel sorry for the people in the song. That, to me, is not what the song was meant for. Instead, the song was meant to send a message to the listener. "In God's eyes we're all the same." Isn't that true. The message that this song is bringing is about respect. People who are different do not want to be treated differently. They want to be treated with respect-the same respect that you give everyone else. These people have feelings too. I'm forever grateful for those special people like my friend I met today. For it is through them that I realize what life is really about. Life is about love, admiration, care and respect. Thanks for reminding me today, my friend!

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in the way in which we treat others who may be "fat" or "thin" or "short" or "tall" or "deaf" or "blind" For it is through these people that sometimes our lives will be forever changed!

That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!

What's your dash say?

When you look on a gravestone, what do you see? You normally see a name, a birth date, a dash, and a death date. Well, consider this, I've heard this many times and it rings true each  time: What matters is not the birth date nor the death date but the dash in between. You see, the dash represents your life. What do you want your life to say about you? What will your "dash" say about you?

Recently, I've been trying to think about building my legacy. We all know that we won't be on this earth forever. It's what you do while you're here that counts-that's your legacy. When I look at others who have departed from this world, I am reflecting on their legacy. I'm very happy to say that I've know some great people with profound legacies, but how did they build those legacies? I believe that great legacies can be summarized in three words: making a difference. So, the question arises how do we make a difference?

Whether you know it or not, the chance for you to make a difference is presented before you each day. I think no song demonstrates this point better than Randy Travis' "Three Wooden Crosses"

"Three Wooden Crosses"


A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An' two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An' eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you're gone.

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an' love for growin' things in his young son's heart.
An' that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give 'em all a better start.
An' that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?"
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker's hand.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you're gone.

That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday.
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see.
He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an' the preacher;
"Who gave this Bible to my mamma,
"Who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know.
It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,


It's what you leave behind you when you're gone.

Who made a difference in this story? The answer is: they all did-even the hooker. 

How did they make a difference? The answer is: by choosing to make a difference through their contact with others

So, everyday we come into contact with other people. Therefore we all have a chance to make a difference. Perhaps you're a farmer and can leave a faith and love for growing things in a young heart. Perhaps you are a teacher and can leave your wisdom in the minds of lots of children in order to do your best to give them all a better start. Perhaps you are a preacher and can help people to the Promised Land. Perhaps you're just you. Well, YOU can make a difference. You just have to start where you are with who you know. I honestly believe it's as simple as that!

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in his ability to make a difference and through making that difference, leave a lasting legacy of someone who chose to be a difference maker in the lives of others.

That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!

Spirit of a boy, wisdom of a man

"There's so much riding on the choice at hand..."

Today, I saw a friend that I have not seen in about 5 years. It was just a chance meeting in a parking lot, but it made me think. This friend that I saw today is now married and lives miles away from where we both grew up. He's also a Marine now. Needless to say, I was impressed but not surprised. He has made a way in life for himself and chosen to be successful. He's always made that choice. You see, success is a choice. I believe that wholeheartedly. We have to choose to succeed. Sure, we're all dealt different hands in life, but to succeed in this "game" called life, we have to make the right choices. No one can do that but us, you and me, individually.

For me, as a man, I often look at other men and the choices they make. Like my friend in the Marine Corps, many have chosen to be successful. Yet others, have chosen to go with what feels good rather than what is right. They have chosen temporary pleasure over permanent success. As men, the biggest choice we have to make is to actually be a man.

I'm at a crossroads in  my life now. I'm taking on new responsibilities and making choices concerning my future and my success. Part of the transition from being a boy to becoming a man is learning to make wise choices. There is a Randy Travis song called "Spirit of a Boy, Wisdom of a Man." Although the song leaves the listener thinking about what choice the man makes in the end, it gives us an understanding that as men we are faced with choices AND it is up to US how we respond to the choices. We respond with the spirit of a boy or the wisdom of a man.

Let's take a look at the song:



"Spirit Of A Boy, Wisdom Of A Man"


"He was 16, tender and tough.
She was too, and he'd do anything to prove his love.
With so much riding on the choice at hand,
the spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man.
Hearts caught fire and love ran wild.
She cried the day she called to say she was having his child.
With so much riding on the choice at hand,
the spirit of a boy or the wisdom of a man.

There's a constant contradiction, what feels good and what feels right.
But, you live with decisions that you make in your life.
And what steers your direction is hard to understand,
the spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man

Now he drives a diesel out of Dallas,
hauling cars out to the coast.
It ain't the dream that he remembered, just a few short years ago.
But tonight at a truckstop, while drinking a cup,
the waitress grins and winks at him,
and says, "My shift's almost up."

With so much riding on the choice at hand,
the spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man.
With so much riding on the choice at hand,
the spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man."

Spirit-what is that anyway? A basic Google search gives the definition of spirit as follows: the nonphysical part of a person that is the seat of emotions and character; the soul. Our spirit, our emotions and character, our soul leads us to choices. When we are young, a boy, we make choices with the character or with the emotions of a boy. Though choices made by a boy are not necessarily wrong in their own right, these choices can never compare to choices made through the wisdom of a man. Sometimes, our spirit leads us to make choices based purely on emotion. Though emotion is not always wrong, it can be.

Wisdom- what is that anyway? A basic Google search gives the definition of wisdom as follows: the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment. Wisdom allows us to make choices based on experience and it allows us to use good judgement.

You see, making choices as a man requires wisdom. Wisdom is both learned and handed down from person to person through example. I'm thankful that I have many wise examples in my life. Yet, even with all the wise examples in the world, my choices can only be made by me. Therefore, the question lies, do I make choices with the spirit of a boy or the wisdom of a man?

As the song says, there is definitely a lot riding on many choices we face in life. As the song also says, "There's a constant contradiction, what feels good and what feels right. But you live with decisions you make in your life." I want to make the right decisions, the right choices. I want to choose to be a hard worker. I want to choose to be a true friend. I want to choose to be honest. I want to choose to be humble. I want to choose to be a good son. I want to choose to be a good father. I want to choose to be a faithful husband. I want to choose to be a man who makes wise choices! What will you choose?

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in the choices he makes and how he makes them- either with the spirit of a boy or the wisdom of a man.

That, my friends is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!