Today, as I checked Facebook I saw all of the posts for Father's Day. I'll have to say that it was great to see fathers get some recognition. Then, as the day progressed, I thought more and more about what it means to be a father. I haven't really considered fatherhood much until this point in my life. I was reminded today, through a phone call, that fatherhood is quite possible for me one day. Well, as that reminder sank in, I decided to truly begin my quest to prepare for the job.
I believe that a person's preparation for fatherhood is best begun by looking at the men in our own lives-men that are example fathers. You can look at any man you look up to and learn a lesson. Many men are different. Some are not worthy of emulating. Yet some are very worthy of emulating. The best way to prepare for fatherhood, in my opinion, is to examine the characteristics of men who are good fathers and emulate those characteristics.
One characteristic that I truly admire about my father is his love of simplicity and his appreciation for the things that matter most. You see, my dad has discovered through his own experiences, that money, fame and fortune isn't everything. Everyday I see fathers push their kids toward financial success at the cost of family relationships. I see fathers push their kids to athletic fame at the cost of family relationships. In the end none of that matters and the one true thing that really matters most is love and no amount of money can buy that.
I found a song recently that is fast becoming one of my favorite. The song is "Daddy Never Was the Cadillac Kind by Confederate Railroad. Here's the lyrics:
Daddy Never Was the Cadillac Kind
We were poor when I was a youngun
I don't remember ever going hungry
Daddy made sure we didn't do without
I went to school with some of these fellas
They had money and I was jealous
I didn't know then what I know now
Daddy'd say you can't judge a book by looking at its cover
It's what's inside that really matters
CHORUS
Daddy never was the Cadillac kind
He said some things just glitter and shine
He taught us that love was the one thing money couldn't buy
Daddy never was the Cadillac kind
I left home right out of high school
Bought me a big car thought I was real cool
Cruisin' around the old neighborhood
I'd see Dad after church on Sunday
I'd say you'll have to go riding with me someday
He just said no, I never understood
He asked me how I bought it, I told him on credit
Daddy just smiled, I'll never forget it
REPEAT CHORUS
It took a while but now I'm grown
I've settled down with kids of my own
The more I give them
The more they want
Daddy left us last November
I don't remember him ever looking better
All laid out in his Sunday best
I'm sure instead of all the attention
All he'd of wanted was a few words mentioned
A simple man simply laid to rest
As they drove him away in that big Cadillac
With a tear in my eye I had to laugh
REPEAT CHORUS
It's what's inside that really matters- isn't that true? It isn't fame, or fortune, cars, or houses, Cadillacs, or Fords. No, it's things that really matter-respect, honor, humility, compassion, and love. One thing about my dad is he has never been concerned with material things. As a young person, sometimes I put more weight in the materialistic world- but my dad has never been the Cadillac kind. I want to be like that. He often stresses to me that it doesn't matter what the world thinks about your possessions. It matters what the world thinks of your reputation. When I'm through with this life I want to leave behind a reputation of someone who never really was the Cadillac kind.
Another characteristic I love about my own dad is the fact that he stresses actions rather than words. My dad has never been one to show emotion or share his feelings in words with me. He doesn't have to. He shows how he feels and how he thinks through his actions. Bucky Covington has a song called "A Father's Love." It reminds me of my own father. Here's the lyrics:
For the longest time, I guess I thought
He didn't give a damn
Hard to read, hard to please
Yeah, that was my old man
On the day I left for college
It was nothing new
We never had that heart-to-heart
He had too much to do
[Chorus:]
He checked the air in my tires
The belts and all the spark plug wires
Said "When the hell's the last time
"You had this oil changed"
And as I pulled out the drive
He said "Be sure and call your mom sometime"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
(He was saying "I love you")
The only way he knew how
120,000 miles
Six years down the road
A brand new life and a brand new wife
We'd just bought our first home
When he finally came to visit
I thought he'd be so proud
He never said he liked the place
He just got his tool belt out
And put new locks on the doors
Went back and forth to the hardware store
Said "Come and hold this flashlight"
As he crawled beneath the sink
And "These old wires ain't up to code"
And "That circuit box is gonna overload"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how
Last Sunday, we all gathered
For his 65th birthday
And I knew he'd stiffen up
But I hugged him anyway
When it was finally time to say goodbye
I knew what was next
Just like he always does
Right before we left
[Repeat Chorus]
He knew how
When I use the three letter word "dad" usually I'm speaking of my step-father. He and I have this kind of relationship. Of course he says he loves me sometimes, but he shows it all the time through his actions. You see, I've always been a firm believer in the old saying "Actions speak louder than words." My dad's actions certainly have. He's checked the air in my tires. He's moved furniture off to college. He's helped me swap seats out in my truck so I'd be more comfortable driving it. He's fixed the lawnmower after I carelessly broke it and never said anything. And he has always stressed that I should respect my mother and always see that she is taken care of. All of that, to me, is his way of showing love through action. When we say the words "I love you," in that sentence the word "love" is an action verb. It requires action. Too many times, people treat love as a noun-just a thing that requires no thought, attention, or action. My dad doesn't. He shows what love is meant to look like. He takes action. Too many times, men say "I love you." to their children but never actually show love. I'm firm believer that love must be shown in order to be appreciated. I appreciate my dad's love because he shows it!
Tonight, the measure of man, the measure of a father can sometimes be found in one's ability to be a father who never judges a book by its cover, to be father who treats love as an action verb. and to be a father who values what's inside rather than things that glitter and shine because a real father doesn't want to be
...the Cadillac kind.
That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man!
No comments:
Post a Comment