Dysfunctional by choice

I'm long overdue for a blog, but I have been a little occupied. This past week was spent preparing for the arrival of cousins and spending time with them while they were here with the rest of the family. My time was also spent thinking about what family really is. I think family is closely tied with two words-time and involvement. Different families have different ways that they spend time with each other and are involved in one another's lives. Yet so many families don't spend time together and aren't involved with each other's lives. Sometimes those families are called "dysfunctional" families. The term "dysfunctional family" has become so commonplace these days. In fact, I've used it a time or two myself, until my dad adamantly opposed to my use of the term. At first, I thought: "What's the big deal?" Then, however, he took the time to explain his thoughts. He believes that there is no such thing as a "dysfunctional family." So, there lies the question: Is there such a thing as a "dysfunctional family?" Well, In my humble opinion the answer is: It depends on one thing-choice. Allow me to explain:

The outcome of things in life often depends on choices that we make. Families are no different. I'm so very happy with those in my family and the part they play in my life. I can happily say that we are not dysfunctional at all, because we choose not to me. The only way a dysfunctional family exists is if someone chooses for it to be dysfunctional. We choose for our families to be dysfunctional when we neglect to spend time with one another, when we neglect to be involved with one another, when we argue more than we agree, when fight more that we have fun, when we are jealous more than we are just plain happy for one another. You see, the best families on this planet are those who choose to be the best.

My words may seem harsh, but I stand firmly by them. I honestly believe that every family can be great if they choose to be. A dysfunctional family is only that way by choice. Therefore, they don't exist unless we allow them to.

So, the question remains. What is the secret to a great family? Well, I will revert back to what I said earlier. A great family is one who is involved in the lives of and spends time with one another. Buddy Jewell has a song called, "Times Like These" that illustrates this point well. Here it is:

"Times Like These"

He's three-feet tall and four years old,
An' still believes I can do no wrong.
When I get home at five o'clock,
He's waitin with that Cowboys jersey on.
I laugh 'cause he's just like his Dad.
He'll miss the ball an' he'll get mad:
Thinks when he grows up, he'll catch 'em all.
Then I get down on my knees an' tell him:
"Sometimes, even Daddies drop the ball."

It's times like these that I realise they don't stay little long.
You blink your eyes an' turn around,
Before you know it, they're grown up an' gone.
I've been takin' time for granted,
Now I'm gonna take advantage,
Of every golden opportunity.
Make the most of every moment,
While we still have times like these.

I could go to work this Saturday,
Lord knows, that I could use the overtime.
But I'll be sittin' there, behind home plate,
Cheerin' on that little man of mine.
Yeah, the extra pay would sure be nice,
But it's worth any sacrifice,
To see my little slugger's first at bat.
An' when he looks up in the stands an' sees me:
Man, you can't put a price on that.

It's times like these that I realise they don't stay little long.
You blink your eyes an' turn around,
Before you know it, they're grown up an' gone.
I been takin' time for granted,
Now I'm gonna take advantage,
Of every golden opportunity.
Make the most of every moment,
While we still have times like these.

I've been takin' time for granted,
Now I'm gonna take advantage,
Of every golden opportunity.
Make the most of every moment,
While we still have times like these.


Thank God for times like these. 

I certainly do need to thank God for the "times like these." For the times my family has helped me and cheered me-for the times they have taken time with me and chosen to be involved in my life. That's really it folks-great families are great because they choose to be!

Tonight, the measure of a man can sometimes be found in the choice he makes to be a part of and make a decision to make his family great!

That, my friends, is just a few thoughts from a small town southern man! (that are a little overdue...lol)